Chapter 159 A guest-post by a reader

Verse 1

A little while back i wrote a piece inspired by two words i saw one night, they were Scar Symmetry. It got some very good comments from a reader. They actually made such an impression on me that i asked the reader to do a guest-post for me.
He agreed and has written a piece with its roots in the same topic. I suggest you read the original one together with its comments first and then this one.

Here is the post as written by Jon with my thanks. I hope you all appreciate it as much as i did.

Who's my brothers keeper?

That would be me, of course. The question is closely related to ”Somebody should do something”, ”Why did nobody help him?” ”Something ought to be done about whatever” and so on and so on...

Yeah you should do something, why aren't you doing it right now? Apart from talking about it, I mean.

Why didn't you help him?

OK you think something ought to be done about whatever. I hear ya, so go do what you think needs to be done. Want some company?

Getting back to the second question, talking about it is important. If for no other reason than to get a second opinion, a fresh perspective, the view from another pair of peepers. Also, talking about it might be what it's all about. Some things need talking about. Like why I wasn't my brothers keeper when he needed it. I can't go back in time and do what in hindsight I wish I'd done. I can learn from what happened so that next time my brother needs me, I'm his keeper.

I wrote that there were no easy answers. Maybe not, or maybe they're all easy ones. Depends on what perspective you choose. I think the more basic the question, the easier the answer. Like who's my brothers keeper, or do I wanna be my brothers keeper or do I wanna have close friends and a family. The answers are really simple, what's hard is being my brothers keeper. Sometimes it's hard because the demons he's fighting scare the hell outta me. Sometimes it's hard because another of my brothers need me. Sometimes it's hard because I need me.

So life is hard. Not being my brothers keeper doesn't make it easy. It might make it lonely though.

Which makes me think of Simon & Garfunkels ”I am a Rock”. Listen to it. To me, it's about the price you pay.

The thing which got me writing this guest column was a topic Mats got started about people who hurt themselves intentionally. They choose to cut themselves to relieve the pain they feel inside. The pain of the razor makes the other pain easier. So rock'n roll! If you've found something you need to get through the day then go! I wish it were something other than cutting yourself though. Wanna talk about it?

Once there was this woman on a bench where I live. She was outta it and I couldn't wake her up so I called for an ambulance. These paramedics came, did a quick diagnosis, said she was dead drunk and that they'd take her to the hospital to check her out more thoroughly and rehydrate her. Mission accomplished.

This took me something like half an hour, from outta my apartment, trying to wake her up, calling for help, waiting 'till help came to seeing that the guys treated her humanely and with care.

So there were at least 2 neighbours I saw see the woman and walk right on by. It still pisses me off when I think about it. Sure they had reasons for walking by. Excuses are like assholes, everybody's got one.

Maybe one excuse was the memory of losing a loved one to severe alcohol addiction. Coupled with the experience of not being able to do a damn thing about it. You can't fix people's lives for them, but if the person in question is your mom or dad who's drifting further away every day you sure wish you could. And cos you can't, it can really suck.

When you're really young you turn to your parents when you've hurt yourself. And they make the pain go away. If life is reasonably ok for you, you have friends and family to turn to when you need help. So yeah, you can fix people's lives for them. To a degree. Be your brothers keeper, help him when he needs it so that he can get strong enough to fix his life. And if you are, then your brother will be your keeper. Cool, ain't it?

Thing with the answers is, they gotta be your answers. Some of mine might already be the same as yours. Some are the same but you word them differently. Some are just plain different.

And they change, subtly but constantly. Some retain a constant core, while with some you look back one day and ask, ”What was I thinking!?”. And sometimes that's because things were different back then. The answer now might not have made any sense way back when.

Talking about them interests me. So if you wanna, let's talk.