Chapter 5 Heavy lifting is hazardous

Verse 1

Some time ago i helped my girlfriend to move some things to her new apartment and i started to think about a weird phenomenon.
How is it that doorways, all doorways allow you to squeeze a couch or large bookcase through with just enough space left to horribly mangle a hand in?
The items size and shape relative to each other doesn't matter at all, they will all fit and grind your hand with horrific precision.

Verse 2

Exactly the same principle applies when you move things around in bags. You come up to the doorway carrying paperbags filled with something heavy, usually books in both hands. It is probable that you will have two bags in each hand because you don't want to run back and forth so many times.
As you approach the opening you start to twist and turn trying to angle your bags as to move smoothly through. It is hopeless let me tell you. There is no way that you wont bang a bag into the frame regardless of your maneuvering, no matter your athletic skills or limber your body. You will bang a bag or more, most likely all of them and being paperbags they will rip and tear spilling books all over. If you are lucky that is, it will just as often be the good china.

Verse 3

I chalk this up to being a cosmic law. That's what i call the things that just are. Like the fact that it will usually rain on a picnic and that you will get absolutely no wind when you go sailing. There are many more and most of them detrimental to your wellbeing, mental or physical. There is as far as i know nothing we can do about the cosmic laws but to endure them and move on. Usually soaking wet on an becalmed sailboat while nursing a shredded hand